Blistering.com: On the first song, the title track, you talk about how when you got to the black hole her Nebula was filled with crabs. How do space crabs differ from Earth crabs?
Oderus Urungus: First of all, they’re huge. They are much, much larger. The biggest crab on Earth is the Japanese Spider Crab. Those things are about eight to ten feet across. In outer space, they can be several miles across. They are a lot worse. They are a lot meaner, but their flesh is still just as delicious, but just as packed with cholesterol.
Blistering.com: Speaking of crabs, what galaxy has the best disease-free hookers?
Oderus Urungus: The only place left in the galaxy that has hookers is planet Earth. Cardinal Sin has stamped out naughtiness all across the universe. As a matter of fact, his war fleet will be here tonight to try to close down Earth as the last cool place that you can party. So it’s more than just a rock-and-roll show, it’s a fight for the survival of your race and your right to smoke crack cocaine or any other kind of drug that you want whether it be fried-banana peels or Crystal Meth, you should be able to do whatever the fuck you want! Cardinal Sin is telling you that you can’t. Unless you want to live in a strip mall, which a lot of you do already, you need to get down here and FIGHT FOR YOUR LIFE!
Blistering.com: When you’re crusing through space, what kind of space cruiser do you use?
Oderus Urungus: Scum Ship—The SS Cripple Killer. It’s a great ship, but it doesn’t have a toilet. That’s one of the things the master does when he builds a ship: He doesn’t put toilets in them, really. Everybody is walking around (holds his butt), and that makes for a very agitated crew. They fight better that way, but they are very smelly. You just stick your butt out a porthole. That’s basically what you do. You should see the shit streaming out of these things. Scum Dogs crap a lot. They are horrific crappers. That’s one of biggest problems commanding a Scum Dog war fleet. When we’re in outer space that is not a problem because you just shit out the window. But when we’re on a planet, the army can shit so much that within several days the planet’s surface will be altered. So much shit accumulates that you Google Maps are considered useless.
Blistering.com: I heard that you got your windshields cleaned by Zog. He was getting some of that space shit off of there. What the fuck is up with this guy?
Oderus Urungus: He’s an old buddy of ours from outer space, General Zog. It has nothing to do with the Zionist Occupation Government or the band of freedom fighters that rose up against the SS in the Warsaw ghetto. It has nothing to do with the General Zog from the Superman movie either. It has nothing to do with him, although it is very obvious that we did steal his name from that movie. Zog is a creature of our creation. He is a general in the Scum Dog army. He has led us into all kinds of battles, but apparently, after Cardinal Sin put the lock down on planet Scumdogia, Zog lost his job and was forced to sucking intergalactic cock at an intergalactic truck stop. We found him in a parking lot, not like the parking lots at truck stops on Earth, there are different levels, but they are the same in that there are hookers stumbling around. I think he was trying to work with them, somehow. He had gone from being a Scum Dog war leader to a homeless bum at a truck stop who was trying to get the local lounge lizards into some kind of labor group or something. I don’t know. He’s just pathetic.
Blistering.com: Why were you guys searching for him?
Oderus Urungus: We thought he was still cool. When we went back into outer space, we thought everything was hunky dory. For instance, we went to Metal, Metal Land right off the bat. We went there and found out that Metal, Metal Land had been conquered by Cardinal Sin and turned into Happy, Fuzzy, Chocolate Waterfall, Dumpling Land of Babies That Are Happy. That’s what it’s called now. It sucks! The only thing good about a place like that is using flamethrowers on it, and we did. Then we were interrupted by Cardinal Sin and his war fleet, and we were chased all across the galaxy to this place, which could be our final stand, here in Austin, Texas tonight. We’ll have to see. I’m not worried about it. We always seem to fight them to a standstill, and then the show is over. We never seem to get anywhere, but it’s a lot of fun. Humans like it.
Blistering.com: It seems like you kill these people, and then they are there the next day.
Oderus Urungus: I don’t get it. I mean, I’m really trying to finish the job. I’ve got hole-drilled-in-face, sword-stuck-through-head, dick-in-hole-drowning-them-in-cum, and then the next night they get up and come at you again. What am I supposed to do here? I don’t think the guys from Slayer have to deal with this shit. I don’t think that Rod Stewart had to deal with this kind of stuff. Sure, he had to get thirty gallons of semen pumped from his stomach several points throughout his life. He actually vomited cum. In order to have that much cum in you, whoever’s cum you are drinking must be saving it up for months in the fridge. Then heat it, and then make you drink enough of it that it makes you sick. I don’t know anyone who can cum two or three gallons, unless they are an elephant.
Blistering.com: How much do you cum?
Oderus Urungus: I cum a lot, but I’m not a human being. I can go all night. I have an extra-terrestrial porthole that opens up inside my penis, so a universe of cum can filter through that hole. Anway, you’ve got more than enough so far, you need to wrap this thing up.
Blistering.com: We humans aren’t a bad lot. Has Gwar warmed up to us yet?
Oderus Urungus: Yes, yes. After all, we did create you by having sex with apes. A lot of people think it was just the apes that we had sex with, but we mated with just about anything we could get a dicks in—from apes to cans of stewed tomatoes, we really don’t give a shit. Pretty much, Gwar’s sperm grows at it’s own pace. It doesn’t need to be alive, it just needs someplace warm. That’s why so many people came to birth in ovens, dishwashers, other people’s buttholes, and all kinds of things. So you’ve got certain traits that make you interesting, I guess, like an ant farm. You’re like pets or perhaps a retarded child or an autistic child or an autistic retarded child that is still hot, that you still want to have sex with. It’s like adopting a sixteen-year-old retard, autistic bitch, who is hot as shit, just for the sole purpose of having sex with her. That’s what it’s like.
Blistering.com: Is that how you see humans?
Oderus Urungus: Yes, I look at humans as a hot, retarded, teenage girl.
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