For a quarter of a century, Earth’s only extra-terrestrial band, Gwar has splattered ravenous concertgoers with the blood of their enemies and our celebrities. Consisting of Oderus Urungus (vocals), Balsac, the Jaws of Death (guitar), Flattus Maximus (guitair), Jizmak Da Gusha (drums) and Beefcake the Mighty (bass)—Gwar has enlightened(or devolved) the human race with a massive catalogue of heavy metal albums including Scum Dogs of the Universe, This Toilet Earth, Carnival of Chaos and War Party.
Gwar and their legions of Scum Dogs return with another album, Lust in Space. No album has shed such a light on the world of Gwar like Lust in Space because instead of the band’s adversaries coming to Earth to do battle, Gwar fights in their own habitat amongst the stars. Once in space, Gwar encountered their old nemesis, the gigantic robot Cardinal Sin. Sin and his mechanical army have chased Gwar across the galaxy, seeking to destroy them in the name of morality. Each stop along Gwar’s tour with Lamb of God and Job for a Cowboy reveals another battle between Gwar and the hated Cardinal Sin, which usually results in Cardinal Sin’s blood staining the clothes of unlucky (or lucky) fans.
Lust in Space offers many interesting tales of cosmic debauchery. This scribe was fortunate enough to survive entrance into the group’s Earth bus to find out more about what went on during their space odyssey, and we’re not talking the sleeper produced by Stanley Kubrick. This tale will make you stand at attention, and if not, Gwar will flog you like the worthless slave you are! Before launching into stories of the final frontier, one that Gwar has already conquered, lead slayer Oderus Urungus went on a tirade about opening for Lamb of God.
Oderus Urungus: So they came to us and asked us if we wanted to open up for them on their tour. We said, “Ah, who do you think you are thinking you could get Gwar to open up for you?” Then they said, “Oderus, you are headlining; it’s just that they are playing after you.” So I agreed handily at that point. It’s all how you explain things to me, even though it’s blatantly obvious that they are. Maybe in my mind, they are not, and that’s all I need to do. I just need to put it that way in my mind. Reality doesn’t have anything to do with it.
Blistering.com: Have you killed any of the members yet?
Oderus Urungus: No, no, we don’t want to kill any of them. We aren’t going to kill any members of the press. We want to advance our careers, not snuff it out. They are nice boys, they really are, we won’t kill them just yet.
At this time, some of the Scum Dogs crew and Gwar enter the bus.
Oderus Urungus: Don’t pay any attention to any of those people. It’s my time to shine! Get on with your questions, so I can throw you out of here and I can continue watching football!
Blistering.com: On the subject of killing, this album [Lust in Space] is about space, so will tonight’s onslaught include the slaying of any Wookies or Star Trek members?
Oderus Urungus: No Wookies or Star Trek members. We are far too creative to take those STUPID ideas that people made up on planet Earth that don’t even exist in reality. Wookies are that dumb ass Lucas…I believe there are Wookies in outer space, and I did rape one in the face. I’m not sure about doing that on stage tonight or not. Maybe in the parking lot after the show there will be Wookie face- raping going on. Actually, rape a Ewok in the face. Their faces are closer to dick level. Wookies are rather tall to rape in the face, unless you have a ladder or scaffold of some kind or you’re an Ostrich band from Regulax-7.
Blistering.com: Ewoks are so small that you can do plenty with them like wipe your ass.
Oderus Urungus: Insert them up your butt, sort of like a perma-plug, and shit them out when it gets all greasy. That would be a fitting end. Those creatures should live in my rectum. Even worse than that is this George Lucas character. Do you really think those movies are any good? PEOPLE REALLY LIKE THAT STUFF! They have real people from outer space on their planets. Yeah, right. Whatever, we are really from outer space. Star Wars, George Lucas—That’s a bunch of baloney! (In a sarcastic voice) We’ll have Wookies, and then Darth Maul will come along. He will look like a cross between ICP and Marilyn Manson. Have you ever seen George Lucas’ hair? It looks like a motorcycle helmet. Anyway, on with your fucking questions!
Blistering.com: “Lust in Space” shows Gwar return to Metal Blade—the label which you released the classic Scum Dogs of the Universe Did your manager, Sleezy P. Martini set this up?
Oderus Urungus: Yes, he did. We had a little bit of a problem there with DRT records. I thought I was signing an extension to the Metal Blade deal, but it was actually a shoe endorsement—a very large shoe endorsement because I wear a size 27. Anyway, we’re back on Metal Blade, back where we belong. Quite frankly….Metal Blade is the only label that will have us. There, I said it. We tried every other label in the entire world and they were like, “Uh, no.” Gwar and Metal Blade go together like….Abbra and Caddabra.
Blistering.com: I haven’t seen Sleezy play with Gwar in quite a while. What has he been doing?
Oderus Urungus: Once every ten years he goes out on tour with Gwar to personally slap the shit out of everyone who works for him. People from all over the world work for him, and it’s in a contract: When you work for Sleezy P. Martini, once every ten years—even if you don’t deserve it—you get the shit slapped out of you. That’s what he did last year, not to do so much with the show, although he did make some appearances with Gwar. We replace him with other characters that are even murkier and more confusing.
Blistering.com: Where has the X-Cops, another band associated with Gwar, been lately?
Oderus Urungus: I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THAT! THAT’S SOME STUPID GROUP OF FATTIES WHO DRESS UP LIKE COPS, AND OPEN UP FOR GWAR. They have been our opening band, so people think I had something to do with them. WELL, I DIDN’T! This cob-nobler, Sodomite, shit-head Slave Pit—I COULD GIVE A CRAP ABOUT THEM! ALL I CARE ABOUT IS GWAR! X-Cops, smex-cops. It will probably never happen again. I wouldn’t hold your breath, but go ahead anyway. You’ll be dead soon.
Blistering.com: When you first landed in Antarctica, you played a punk rock style. Now, your musical style is more in-line with modern thrash. What bands did you kill so you could take their music?
Oderus Urungus: I don’t know. I think we made the kind of music we made because we wanted to make it. We had exhausted ourselves on silly music, and we wanted to make some heavy shit again. That started with Violence Has Arrived, and we’ve stuck with it ever since. You can’t really call it anything except Gwar music. It’s just a big mush-up of all kinds of musical styles. We seem to have settled down on the big, heavy one….and there was much rejoicing. I don’t really think that we’ve been influenced by anyone. This music came all by ourselves and we claim all the credit ourselves.
Blistering.com: You said “the big, heavy one.” Speaking of that, how is your cuddle fish doing?
Oderus Urungus: Hanging, pendulously and engorged with Syphilitic urine bursting free at any moment. Just a mere glance at it, sets it alight and jizm everywhere. They’ll be loving it tonight as I eat holes in their faces. They’re like, “Oderus, jiz on us,” and then their whole face just caves in. Beautiful. Then, I fuck the hole. It’s so great, so great! I can do that. It doesn’t matter how wide the barricade is because I have a ten-foot-long cock. I jiz a hole in your face, and then cast the meat across the barrier. It’s kind of like fly fishing but with a big cock you’re throwing out there. It’s like throwing hot dogs into a hole. I can do that, play a song and manage fifteen fantasy football leagues at the same time. The shit I roll with. I do it with my Blackberry onstage and a lot of people don’t notice.
