[5/10] Spazzy hardcore isn’t what I would call one of my favourite genres of music. Aside from Fear Before The March Of Flames and Dillinger Escape Plan, I can’t say that I’ve really enjoyed anything that has come out of the so-called “scene.”

So it was with somewhat disinterest when I approached San Jose (California) act Heavy Heavy Low Low’s sophomore effort Turtle Nipple And The Toxic Shock. And needless to say, I wasn’t let down.

The problem with spazzy hardcore (or mathcore, whatever you want to call it these days) is that there’s little in the way of genuine song structure, with most of the emphasis placed on trying too hard to be different and unpredictable purely for the sake of it. And when you take into account the lyrical content, more often than not it seems to be based around inside jokes shared only between the band members. And if there was ever a band guilty of both of these charges, it’s Heavy Heavy Low Low on their latest effort.

Over the course of 26 minutes (I’m excluding the ten minutes of noise effects at the tail end of “Please, That Bitch Will Outlive Us All”), the five piece act (comprising of vocalist Robert Smith, guitarist/vocalist Dan Rankin, guitarist Ryan ‘Chip’ Madden, bassist Andrew ‘Roo’ Fritter and drummer Christopher ‘Chrif’ Fritter) batter and crash their way through 16 tracks (including the hidden track “Short Term Exposure, Long Term Damage”), with little of it standing out as anything really memorable.

Some genuinely catchy moments and memorable riffs do crop up in “Giant Mantis VS. TURT nip,” “H.D.EYE Hybrid Cyborg,”, the thrashy “R4TB3LLY” and the psychedelic “Eagle Mewnadria” (which is the epic at three and a half minutes), but quite simply, there’s just not enough to salvage this disaster.

Hell, not even the guest appearance of The Acacia Strain’s Vincent Bennett on “Trot Line Beer Can” and So Many Dynamos’ Aaron Stovall on “Rotten Church Mall Parking Lot” make this album any more appealing.

Unless you’re into spazzy hardcore, the only fun to be had out of Turtle Nipple And The Toxic Shock is the slight chuckle you’ll have when you read the song titles. And for me, that’s not exactly value for money.

www.myspace.com/heavyheavylowlow